


it's you i keep seeing and i won't let you go

by notthebigspoon



Series: Amaryllis [47]
Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2012-09-03
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:01:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/502816
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/notthebigspoon/pseuds/notthebigspoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan called this house home for months. He'd brought his child here. He'd lived and laughed and loved. Going inside should be easy. After all, he wasn't the one who did something wrong. He didn't put them in this position. It wasn't his actions that had almost destroyed everything they built together. And yet, he feels guilty for being the one to walk away, leaving him to sit in his truck and stare at Melky's house, working up the courage to go inside.</p><p>Title taken from Heart in Hand by Vertical Horizon.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's you i keep seeing and i won't let you go

Ryan called this house home for months. He'd brought his child here. He'd lived and laughed and loved. Going inside should be easy. After all, he wasn't the one who did something wrong. He didn't put them in this position. It wasn't his actions that had almost destroyed everything they built together. And yet, he feels guilty for being the one to walk away, leaving him to sit in his truck and stare at Melky's house, working up the courage to go inside.

He stares at the picture of Melky that's still on the dash of his truck. It'd been taken after a win, Melky smiling at something out of the shot, cheeks flushed with color and his eyes shining. He's missed that smile. No matter how angry he's gotten, or how often he's sworn he was never going to see Melky again, he's never stopped missing it. Missing him.

Knowing he's going to see it makes him get out of the truck and walk up the sidewalk. Melky had said he was going to be leaving the door unlocked but Ryan doesn't feel right just going right in. This isn't his home anymore.

He can hear the TV going inside, recognizes a telenovela that he'd actually gotten pretty invested in and he idly wonders if Catalina and Javier ever got married or if Victor had put a kibosh on that. He's shaken from his thoughts by the door handle rattling and the hinges creaking as the door swings open. Melky looks up at him through the screen door as if he can't believe that Ryan is actually there.

Ryan says hi, so quiet that he barely hears it himself and Melky repeats it, standing back and waving Ryan inside. He says he thought maybe they could talk on the back porch and Ryan follows him through the house, accepting the offer of a beer. They sit on the porch swing side by side, rocking back and forth and silently drinking their beers.

“Did you mean it?” Melky asks softly. Ryan glances over but Melky's not looking at him, he's watching the fireflies instead.

“Did I mean what?”

“You said you love me. Did you mean it? You still love me?”

“Never stopped.” Ryan answers, smiling faintly and taking another drink of his beer. “I tried to. I tried really hard. Mostly I alternated between missing you and being very very angry with you.”

“I'm sorry.”

“I know you are. I really know that you actually are. I just needed some time to cool down.”

“What about the others?”

“Gregor's never stopped being your corner. I don't know about anyone else. Everybody stopped talking about it, we were more concerned about the game. Coming back together. And even if we hadn't moved on... well, everybody knew better than to bring it up with me, Angel or Gregor.”

Melky nods, putting his beer bottle down and picking at his nails. He's half smiling, but it looks a little forced, like he's trying to not care. “And the Outfielders'n'Ryan? Does that still stand?”

“So far. I feel kind of like a fourth wheel sometimes but they won't let me out of it. If I don't go voluntarily, I'm kidnapped. Same goes with Belt and Penny.”

Melky doesn't respond. His forehead is wrinkled like it gets when he's thinking and it's on the tip of Ryan's tongue to ask him just what he's thinking about when Melky kisses him. Ryan doesn't think about it twice, slides a hand behind Melky's neck and pulls him in close. It's only been three weeks since their life blew up in their faces but it's been three weeks too long and Ryan's been starving for his boyfriend's touch. 

It's not as simple as one kiss. It's one, two and then Ryan loses track, eyes shutting and his brain forgetting everything but the feel of Melky's lips against his own, the sensation of Melky's hands under his shirt, touching his skin. He pulls Melky into his lap, settling him before sliding his hands into his boyfriend's back pockets, arching up into Melky's every touch.

Melky is whispering an almost incomprehensible mixture of Spanish and English between kisses, none of the words really making sense. They don't have to, though. Even if he wasn't speaking, Ryan would understand him through touch and emotion alone. It's all there. 

_I love you, I missed you, don't leave, don't ever leave me again._

When Ryan gently pushes Melky off of his lap and on his feet, a bolt of fear flashes through Melky's eyes. Ryan stands up, shaking his head and kissing Melky again. “No... don't look like that. I'm not leaving. Just, I um.”

“You what?” Melky asks. His voice is shaking.

“I don't want to do this here. Bed?”

Melky's eyes flash again but this time it's different, darker and with a punch of heat. He grabs Ryan's hand, pulling him into the house and up the stairs to his bedroom. Their old bedroom.

The house is just as cold as it had been before and when they're laying together after, naked in a tangle of limbs, Ryan pulls the blankets up over them. Melky, as warm as over, presses close like he always used to. He's not draped over Ryan's back like they tend to sleep though. He's curled into his chest, looking up, almost as if he's afraid that if he's not looking at Ryan, Ryan will disappear.

He starts to speak but Ryan shakes his head, rubbing his shoulders. “Shh, no. Just... we're going to be okay, okay? Me and you, we're going to be fine. I love you. I'm not gonna leave.”

Melky's answer is a slow nod and a soft kiss.


End file.
